When you talk with a woman, you will get some idea about her personality and it is through this idea that you can find out the speed at which you should move forward with her. Always focus your attention on the woman that you are with.

Look at her body language. Is it open, or has she closed herself off from you with folded arms or crossed legs? Is her body turned toward you or away? Is she copying your posture or doing something different? You will know from her body language whether the lady in question is interested in you.

When you first meet a woman that you are attracted to, it can give rise to three situations:

1.  You only have few minutes to attract and seduce her. Let us assume that you have met this really attractive woman in a coffee shop and you want to attract her. In such a situation, you should say or act in a certain way that would draw her toward you. If you are unable to do that then she would be gone from your life forever. The most important thing to do in this situation is to develop a bond with her and make yourself trustworthy so that she can trust you. Women would never go for men whom they don’t trust so it is necessary to make yourself trustworthy. Do this quickly by creating a connection between you – see the section on similarity in the previous chapter. Since you don’t have much time here, you need to undertake rapid actions such as asking her out for a date at that moment or asking her for her email address or phone number.
2.  You have a few hours to attract and seduce her. This might be at a dinner party or a one-day event, or when you meet a woman on a plane. This situation is better than situation one because here you at least have a few hours which you can use to draw her toward you. Still, you need to win her over rapidly. See the stages of seduction in the next section and move through them as quickly as you can. Make real good use of your time. Talk to her and attract her toward you by using your body language and conversation skill.
3. You have a few days or weeks to attract and seduce her. If you are in this situation then you can take your time to woo her and then seduce her. Women you work with or neighbors would fall into this category but a lot of guys prefer not to seduce those women because of the complications that can mess up that area of your life afterward. So a better example of this situation would be a woman who works in a local store, or someone you meet on vacation or at a 3-day conference. You will meet her on several different occasions and you can move through the different stages over a longer period of time.

Now that you know the different situations of seduction, you should be aware of the different stages of creating a bond with her.

 Stage 1: Overcome the awkwardness by indulging in light and informal conversation so that the two of you can understand each other. Create a connection.

 Stage 2: Make yourself trustworthy and make her feel she knows you pretty well. This is not about factual knowledge, but giving her a sense that she is seeing the real you and can trust you to act in certain ways.

Stage 3: Have her develop sensual or romantic feelings for you. Flirt.

 Stage 4: Introduce physical touch in the relationship – not just friendly touching which you may have done already if she is a touch-centered person, but the kind of touching that you would only do with a woman you wanted to seduce: holding hands, kissing, arms around her, close dancing.

 Stage 5: Move to intimate touch, foreplay and sex. This usually requires moving to another location and you should be prepared to go through all of the earlier stages over again in the new location, right from stage one, if necessary – though it should be much quicker this time around.

You should always know what stage you are at with any individual woman. As soon as one stage is successfully completed, it is time to move on to the next. You must become skilled at knowing the right time to switch to the next stage. If you move too fast, she will be scared and reject you. If you hesitate, she will think you are not very attracted to her.

With practice you will learn the skill of picking the right moment for the next move. You must, however, keep the different stages in mind even in your first attempts, so that you can learn from any mistakes.

A word about close dancing. In some situations, like a night club or party, it is possible to do this too soon. You can often start to dance next to a girl, make eye contact, and then ask her for a close dance before she really feels she knows you at all. This is unwise. Unless you are very lucky, she will probably feel a little uncomfortable about having reached this stage too fast and you will have to work much harder at building trust later. You may end up in the real bad situation of spending all evening on one girl, thinking you are doing great, and then have her turn you down at the end of the night because you didn’t build enough trust earlier. So rather than ask her for a close dance at that early stage, talk to her on the dance floor or if the music is too loud for that, ask if you can buy her a drink. Even if she says no it’s better to have her turn you down now when you can move on to someone else, than have her dance with you now but disappear when the club closes.